Notes on Revision

Honestly I felt it was necessary to edit my review on The Death List because I really did enjoy the book and I didn't give it the credit that it deserved. So I took to the suggestions of my peers, professor, and even other people. I asked around. Everyone had the same point. My need to chop that lengthy summary was a must and I had to put more of my analysis within the review.
Phase one I scrapped the entire first paragraph taking into account what Jonathan commented, "leaving enough holes in it to make the reader want to go out and read the book." This is what initially got me fumbling through parts of my review that would not only draw the reader in, but leave enough room for my analysis. And possibly enable me to discuss the author a bit more or maybe his reason for the book. Alex made some good comments as well. I took what he said into account, like some of the sentences being awkward and narrowing down my summary to two paragraphs.

That part wasn't hard at all given all the writing I had to work from. The only other issue was what to drop? Some parts could be reworded or moved to a different area of the review while other bits couldn't work without their other half. Aubree stated in her comment that I had a lot to work with and yes that was a given. But her, "less is more," idea really worked for me. And with phase two came the toughest decision. I took the WD character out of the review ( not totally because he is the epitome of the White Devil concept). WD is a complex character and if I were to explain him in depth, like I truly wanted, the review would have become more of a character study. Its best for the reader to discover this person on their own, and draw their own conclusions. Plus from the first review of The Death List, I jumped around. Trying not to give away this person (WD) identity, and made it a bit confusing for readers. Cutting him was the only option.

After rereading the older version multiple times, I still don't think I had much of a voice, and my details just went way overboard. Balance was needed and I took to editing my piece right after class.With phase three in motion I went in depth with my analysis and wrote a bit about the author. I proofread and edited again. I tend to write a lot so its still a bit long but in the end I gave the reader a taste of what's to come.