Notes on Revision

Since I've never really heard of Arrested development my first instinct was to get as much down as I could about what the two episodes were about. But that didn't work so well because there's but so much that can get covered. So character discussion became the bigger issue for me. There were plenty of people in class who knew the characters, so I had to hit the mark. With the revision though I took a little detour. In stead of omitting a bunch of lines I used what I had and just built on it. Paragraphs were repositioned and sentences were moved into more reasonable places. I checked spelling and corrected the choppy sentences and made my statements clearer. Reading it out loud really helped and all the comments rocked. I think they all helped make this revised version ten times better than the original.